Quill,

I write to you today since I am aware that you do not wish to speak to me. You could still ignore this letter, yes, but as long as I send it, I will know that I’ve done all I can.

I will not bring him back. You have my word on this, with what little value that entails. I did speak to Gwilym on the matter, and he himself briefly seemed interested in continuing my work. I have told him not to do this, but I do not know if it got through to him.

My words near the boy were dangerous. I do not deny this, and I will not try and justify it. I spoke solely to hurt you, out of a childish desire for ‘retribution’, given how you puppeted me. I was quite proud of myself, for finally being able to stop before anything awful happened, and your magic felt like a betrayal. It made me feel like any acts of trying to get better would be useless, since I would get punished for them anyways.

I am not trying to ‘excuse’ what I did, but rather… I don’t know. I hope it allows you to see why I chose to be awful. I do not want to be a ‘dog’, and yet it feels like an unavoidable fate, no matter how hard I try to fight against it. Cruelty and malice are easy to submit to.

You are a treasured friend to me. I do not say this to ‘flatter’ you, or to try and win your favor back. We’ve got similar afflictions of the mind, beyond just what a curse has instilled in me. You have suffered from the desire to push everyone away, and to act cruelly in order to achieve this. I can recognize that behavior in you easily, whenever it does come up. I ignore it, and push past it in order to continue and try to support you. I believe that maybe, I was hoping for the same treatment in reverse…

Please ignore the above section. I’ve rewritten this letter a few times, and my hand has already begun to cramp. If I am to copy all of this again, just to get rid of that area, the handwriting would most likely become unreadable. Anyways. That is all I have to say. I hope you’ve been well. If you do need anything, do not hesitate to reach out.

Mammon